


Doctor Who RPF: The Split Words

by TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986



Category: Doctor Who RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Colepaldi, Doctor Who RPF - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fallin in Love, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Making Mistakes, Maybe a happy ending, More surprises over time, RPF, Sad farewell, Secret love, Seduction, Sex, Slow Burn, Understanding, sad future, sexual seduction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986/pseuds/TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986
Summary: ~One phone call can completely change a person's life. This is how the current Doctor Who actor Peter Capaldi feels when he and his fellow actor and best friend Jenna Coleman want to end the last day of the world tour 2015.Over time, he makes some mistakes and his future seems uncertain... Especially when he is suspected of something he never actually did.~
Relationships: Peter Capaldi/Jenna Coleman
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1 - The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Hey dear readers
> 
> With this project (unfortunately I don't know how long it will be) I would like to welcome you to my latest Doctor Who RPF.
> 
> It takes place in a parallel world, of course, so that only the things that are known to us and have nothing to do with the personal life of the actors are mentioned (but that should be clear.)
> 
> Each chapter will only have about 500 words...
> 
> And now that everything has been written, it can begin now. 
> 
> Allons-Y!   
> 
> 
> PS: A little change.
> 
> There will be several sections that are always finished in ten chapters.
> 
> The first section is now called Letters, while the second interview will be called, for the others I will consider names.

Doctor Who is © by BBC. 

Doctor Who RPF: The Split Words

Section One Letters

MY LOVE, IF YOU SEE THESE LINES FOR THE FIRST TIME, DON'T MOURN ME

Chapter 1 - The Journey

2015

When did it really start? When they first met, when they went through the first episode together in the script or during their numerous hugs, whether in their roles or not?

Anyway, it shouldn't have happened either way. It was the last day of the world tour and someone was waiting for him at home, so he had to banish every thought he had and which was wrong.

Besides, maybe he should be happy that their contacts would soon be reduced anyway. She would move on, he would stop for a year and see how much he would stay with Doctor Who. Not that he didn't want it forever, but he also had to be considerate of himself, not neglect his health. He played a time lord, he wasn't one, so there was no way to regenerate. Maybe better that way.

„Hey, what are you doing dreamily around here!?“, she called to him, „come on, it's our last day together... well, at least for now.“

Now it occurred to him what if the contact would soon be completely broken off? You wouldn't see each other almost every day (there were even two weekends where he stayed in Cardiff... for whatever reason.) 

„You wouldn't give up anyway, right?“  
„Not really. Now come on, there are still a few fans waiting for Whouffaldi.“

He looked at her confused, of course he couldn't know what she meant and after she explained it to him he was even more confused.

„They really have... No, I don't want to think about that.“

She just looked at him with a grin. Did it really bother him so much that there were fans like that? She preferred it more than the death threats she'd received, even one that preceded it, that her predecessor had died, not to say that Clara had murdered Amy, but Jenna was responsible for Karen's death. 

But among the few fan posts there are also many that she thinks are really cute (and a few even where she didn't know whether she should be flattered or not.)

And she shouldn't tell him about that, who knew how he would react.

„The last time the Doctor and Clara can be together.“  
„Uhm, we still have to do the Christmas episode, so it's not the last time.“  
„Yes, but it feels that way. Can't you stay a series longer?“

Jenna shook her head. She couldn't get stuck forever, at some point she had to keep going, especially since she... No, don't think about it.

„But it's more fun with you, I really can't imagine being without you, so without Clara.“

She put a hand on his cheek and smiled.  
„Hey, you will make it without me.“  
„Yes, would be possible...“

They were interrupted by the ringing of his smartphone and of course he answered, but his cheerful expression fell apart and made way for a look that she had never seen before. Pure fear.

„Please tell the fans that I'm sorry and I'll make it up to you, but...“

She pulled him close and just held him.  
„It's okay, Peter. No matter what, it's more important.“

Peter closed his eyes, breathed calmer, and then walked away from her.  
„Thank you, if I could choose a best friend again, you would be again.“

When he was long gone, she collapsed amidst the fans. When did it all start?


	2. Chapter 2 - Coming Home

OF COURSE YOU WILL WANT TO KNOW WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU. BELIEVE ME, IT WAS NOT PLANNED, BUT YOU WERE SO HAPPY THAT I WANTED TO TAKE THIS FEELING FROM You 

Chapter 2 - Coming Home

The day had 24 hours? There were too few. Time seemed to be infinite with them, it mocked him, kept reminding him that he was too late. Why couldn't this plane be faster? Peter had been so glad to have got it.

In one day, the whole world was changed. He had noticed how much it hurt him that Jenna would finally go, it almost tore him up when she announced that she would not stay, but he was not aware of why he had reacted that way. Now it was clear to him and it couldn't have gotten worse.

„I don't want a romance between our characters.“

That was his words at the time, later he had changed them, agreed that there was a hint of romance, but he never expected that he would let them into his heart too much.

Peter stared out of the window, but that didn't distract him from his thoughts. Again and again the question came to his mind how it should go on now. He had developed feelings that he only felt once in his entire life and it had been so long since that he couldn't remember it.

He was supposed to be thinking of his wife, instead his thoughts kept wandering to a woman who was so much younger. No matter how many times he tried to shake it off, the thoughts just didn't go away.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

„Are you in love with Peter Capaldi?“  
It was a simple question, of course, and she had, she hoped, circumvented it well. But these words kept going through her head. Was she in love with him?

He was the best friend she ever had.  
He was there for her when she wasn't feeling well.  
He had persuaded her to stay longer.

Jenna pulled her knees up to her and looked blankly at the door. She was home now, too, for the first time in so many weeks, and while she hadn't bothered before, she just wanted Peter to be at the door and asked if you'd like to take him out for a meal or a short walk wanted to.

At first she had thought nothing of it, but then came the one evening when she was quite cold and he put his arm around her to give her some warmth. She had looked up and wondered why everyone saw him as an ancient man. He wasn't ancient but in his 50s... and why did she suddenly want to kiss him?

She quickly shook her head to banish this wish. He was married, had a family, so of course she would be the bad guy.

After all, he was in a happy relationship, had a wonderful marriage, nobody would ever say that it was Peter who was completely at fault. No, it would be she alone who would get all hatred, all contempt.

Yes, she was in love with Peter Capaldi, but she would never tell him because she didn't want to destroy the happiness he had had for so many years.


	3. Chapter 3 - Slow Knowledge

I KNOW YOU WILL WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAVE NOT TELL YOU ANYTHING BUT I WANTED TO HAVE YOUR LUCK IN THE WAY AND EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOT RECOGNIZED IT, I EVEN DOED IT

Chapter 3 - Slow Knowledge

Peter dropped his shoulders. She should have told him all that beforehand. Of course, he would have left everything to be with her, with his wife ... And he was sure that everyone would have understood. Nobody would force him to stay in Cardiff if he knew about it then.

Then he remembered the words she had written to him that she recognized something he wasn't yet aware of. Only he had no idea what it was supposed to be and if he knew he would do anything to avoid having to think about it.

In any case, Peter couldn't stay here. He had to go somewhere, but the question remained where it should be. Actually, there was only one person he wanted to be with, not only to have someone to help him, but also because they could best understand him (and because his heart wanted it).

That he had fallen in love again, even though he had done everything for it that would not happen, it had become clear to him by now and maybe it was really the reason why he wanted her to stay a series longer and why he then decided to suspend one year.

Of course, he loved being the doctor, it was the fulfillment of his dream, but now he became more and more aware that the reasons for his decision to take a year off and then come back as a doctor are completely different, than he suspected himself.

It wasn't because he wanted to spend time at home, it was because his heart drew him to her. Damn that stupid heart that connected to his head and now it was automatic, she didn't live very far away running the streets of London.

And all under the thought that he was in love.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

Jenna lay on the couch with her legs drawn up and let the tears run free. Sometimes it was really shitty how suddenly something broke in on you and here it was because she had finally realized why she agreed to go on the world tour. It was because of Peter.

Of course also because of the fans, she loved her (except for those who treat her like a property, but could you also call them "fans"?) But especially because of Peter.

Why did he have to be so perfect? He always was, right?  
She remembered how he called her then and asked if they could meet to eat to get to know each other. Did he ever do that before?


	4. Chapter 4 - The Closeness

I CAN SEE EXACTLY HOW YOU THINK ABOUT THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOTICED, THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TO RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS BUT I BELIEVE I DO EVERYTHING FOR NOT BORROWING YOU

Chapter 4 - The Closeness

Peter was now standing in front of her house, but not directly in front of the front door, but had put his hand on the fence, which was further ahead. Maybe it was a stupid idea to come here. Jenna had just come back, she was sure she wouldn't have time to listen to him.

„If you want to continue to stand there, I can count you among my decorations soon!“  
Peter swallowed.  
„Everything OK?“  
He didn't have to answer, she saw it in his eyes and before she knew what was happening, he had pulled her into an embrace (luckily she had stepped in front of the fence.)

„It's all over“, he murmured, „I've lost everything.“  
Jenna didn't know what he meant, of course, but she sensed that he was pretty taken away.

„Let's go in first, then you can tell me everything in peace.“

He just nodded and she took his hand to help him.  
(Unfortunately there were neighbors who were too curious.)

"Thanks, but you don't have to bother, Jenna."  
"Peter, you just show up here, even though you should be with your wife. So something must have happened. "

He looked at her briefly, but then lowered his eyes again. She was right, he shouldn't be here, but where else could he go? Well, back to Cardiff would have been an option, but everything would be on his mind there too.

And there was no one to talk to either. Wouldn't most of them judge him, saying that it was a great cheek not to have been there for his wife? Jenna would be the only one who would understand him.

While he was filming Doctor Who, something happened that will haunt him for the rest of his life. What will happen when it becomes known and it will, first of all there will of course be questions about why his career was more important to him, nobody would believe that he didn't know what was happening outside.

He slumped in the middle of the couch so that Jenna suddenly knelt in front of him and put her hands on his cheeks so that he had to look at her and what she noticed was that the glow in his eyes had disappeared. Instead, she saw only grief there.

He looked at her. She was so damn close to him, but even if he didn't want to do anything more than pull her so he wouldn't lose her too. He suddenly took her hands in his and when she looked him straight in the eye he couldn't help but pull the young woman towards her and press his lips against hers.

Her eyes widened before she pushed him away.  
"What the ... Peter, what was that just?"

Instead of answering, he got up, pressed her to the couch and kissed her again. He just wanted to forget, to stop thinking about the message he had received a few hours ago.

Even if he will definitely regret it later.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Concerns Concerned

SURE, I SHOULD HAVE TELL YOU ABOUT IT, BUT AS YOU MAY HAVE RECOGNIZED YES, THERE WERE CERTAIN REASONS NOT TO DO IT. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU TELL ME HOW HAPPY IT MAKES YOU THAT YOU WILL BE LONGER? AT THAT TIME YOU WERE SO HAPPY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT 

Chapter 5 - The Concerns Concerned

He pressed her to the couch and let one of his hands go under her shirt as he touched her smooth skin. Jenna winced at the contact, trying to stop him, but Peter only looked her in the eye before kissing her again. Between the breaks he kept saying something she didn't understand, but she didn't care at the moment.

Her head told her not to succumb to his attempts to seduce her, but her heart reached for his as if they wanted to connect forever. It really wasn't easy to choose between wrong and right when the man she loved started it.

„Do you actually know that you are beautiful?“, He breathed and she could only stare at him. He had complimented her again and again, but never used such exact words. And when she looked into his eyes, she knew that his words were meant honestly.

„You're married“, she reminded him, „we shouldn't be doing this here.“  
Peter just shook his head, saying there was no one left to hurt. Jenna pushed him away and then sat up.  
„Do you want sex just for comfort, Peter? So you don't feel so lonely? Have you ever thought about how I feel about it?“

Honestly? He didn't have it. It was only about his own needs, he had not considered that he would hurt the most important person for some time.  
„You were just the only person I could turn to“, he admitted, „everyone else would either have asked questions or blamed me.“

„Understand. Peterr? You can of course stay here as long as you like“, she offered him (even if she wanted deep inside that he would stay with her forever, but of course she knew that it would never be that way).

He smiled: „Thanks... And because of earlier...“  
„Don't worry about it, Peter. You just learned something that would of course mess everyone up. And besides, I can't let my best friend down, canI?“

Damn, how could he have developed feelings for her? For some time she was one of the very few people who were really there in an emergency when something was. Yes, many wrote texts on the Internet such as "Even at night/in the morning at two o'clock, I'm there for my friends", but when it really mattered, they suddenly had no time.

„I'm hungry“, she said, „do you want something too?“  
He shook his head since he wouldn't get anything anyway. However, she seemed to have taken some of her role because she stood in front of him and then pulled him up.

„Nothing there! You will eat something.“  
„Jenna, I wouldn't be able to get anything down, let alone be inside, or should I occupy your toilet all the time?“

She was worried about him because the marriage he had had over the years was one of the happiest that she knew.

********************

It would have been too early for some activity.


	6. Chapter 6 - Getting closer to you

THE DOCTORS SAID THAT, IF IT HAD BEEN DETECTED ON TIME, THERE WAS NO HEALING. IT IS A CANCER, WHICH IS VERY RARE AND ALWAYS DEADLY

Chapter 6 - Getting closer to you

Peter woke up disoriented. Where was he here After several minutes he remembered everything and turned on his stomach, his face in the pillow. He ran to Jenna yesterday and he stayed here. Even though he had tried to seduce her sexually, she still let him sleep with her, where others would likely have thrown him out.

„Good morning“, she greeted him, „slept well?“  
„It went, the couch is a little uncomfortable.“  
„Well, we can get a guest bed today if you want.“  
He shook his head, not wanting to burden her too much. Jenna smiled now and knelt before him. Not a word came from them, but the silence told much more. Peter put a hand on her cheek again. Jenna closed her eyes and leaned over a little.

„Peter, we shouldn't be doing this“, she pulled away.  
„I wanted to get a divorce.“  
„Don't tell something you don't mean...“  
„I mean it“, he admitted quietly, but she just shook her head.  
„No, everything was fine in your life, you wouldn't have done it if it were.“

Now he took her hands in his and looked directly at her.  
„Jenna, I'm in love with you, I've tried everything to ignore the feelings, but nothing has changed since then. Even though I only recently became aware of all of this, I am very sure that I have now lost your friendship.“

She looked at him as she processed the words. Then she smiled and put a hand on his knee.  
„I think that's very nice, Peter, but you've just had a very serious loss, so we shouldn't rush anything.“

He looked at her, thought the words, and finally understood.  
„Please promise not to wait too long, after all I'm a little older than you.“

She grinned broadly and then changed her position so that she was sitting next to him. He looked over at her in confusion.  
„Jenna, do you think it would be a good idea?“  
„We just sit next to each other, nothing that would be forbidden in any way.“

Peter pondered the words and finally put an arm around her shoulder. Right, it wasn't anything that could get her in trouble. Everything in perfect order... Only with the problem that neither of them was really impressed by the idea of being just friends for the time being.

On the other hand, it was better than if the contact broke off completely. Then why did she feel that they were moving away from each other rather than approaching each other?

„It's really funny“, he said suddenly, „I wonder if it would be better to stay here. But I can't go home and any other place... Well, I kind of have no nerve for that.“

„I offered you that you can stay here as long as you need time, Peter.“ 

He got up now and smiled, even if that smile was rather sad.  
„I will find something new as soon as possible, thank you that can stay with you for so long.“

Jenna just nodded, she wanted to ask him to stay with her forever, but he would never agree... Not after the conversation they had a few hours ago.


	7. Chapter 7 - Your Friendship...

I STILL SEE THE DAY BEFORE ME WHEN YOU COME HOME FROM FOOD. YOU MAY HAVE NOT RECOGNIZED IT, BUT YOU SMILED THE LAST DAY AND YOUR VIEW WAS ALWAYS DISTANTLY DISTANT. AT THIS TIMEI ALREADY GUESSED THAT I HAD TO START ONE WAY OR ANOTHER TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU. NATURALLY, I WAS ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH THE DIAGNOSIS AT THE TIME...

Chapter 7 - Your Friendship...

„Good morning“, Peter greeted, „I've made breakfast if it's okay.“

„Thanks, but it wouldn't have been necessary. I don't get anything down in the morning anyway.“

He had been living with her for two weeks now. Only last night had he asked her if she wanted to attend his wife's funeral and of course she agreed. How could she not?

„You should eat something, Jenna. It's not for nothing that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.“  
She took something, but only so as not to disturb him. Otherwise he would not rest, she was sure of it.

„When will the funeral actually be?“  
„Next month, unfortunately, something like that will last. Thank you for not declining.“

How could she have done it. As far as she knew, Peter no longer had anyone he could really call friends. But where was it actually? Jenna knew he was in love with her, but he had also made it clear that he didn't want to rush anything on the one hand, but hoped on the other that it wouldn't take too much time until then.

If it only became known, the newspapers would be full of certain headlines, Internet and TV would outdo each other with questions and rumors... At this point in time, neither Peter nor Jenna had any idea what was going to happen in the near future.

But now the world was still in order. They spent time, a lot of time together and did not talk about the fact that she would soon leave Doctor Who... and that he would die internally at that moment.

„Look!“, She cried, „it's snowing.“  
„It doesn't stay there anyway“, he said, „it's still too warm for that.“  
„You could be a little happy“, she looked at with a look he otherwise only knows from Clara Oswald. He decided to play a little with. Just because the Doctor was about to lose Clara didn't mean it had to do it now.

So jumped up, pulled her close, but only held her with one arm and then pointed far away with the other hand.  
„Close your eyes, Clara.“

You did it.

„Now imagine that we are traveling with the TARDIS. You hear their usual noises, feel the constant vibrations.“

She nodded slightly.

„Well, don't forget that TARDIS is alive, a machine could never annoy you so much. Now imagine that we are landing on a planet. It is a beautiful planet that looks like it has been exchanged forever in ice and snow, but the temperatures never go below 20°. Now imagine different living things, similar to those on Earth and yet so different.“

She did, but what she didn't expect was what he was about to do.

„It happens between the Doctor and Clara“, he whispered before closing her lips with his.


	8. Chapter 8 - ... means a lot

OF COURSE, I WOULD LOSE YOU EITHER, WHAT I SAFE ME. DURING ALL THE YEARS WE HAD, I HOWEVER KNOWED YOUR HEART, WHICH YOU WANTED TO WANT, WAS MOVING FURTHER. NATURALLY, IF THE DISEASE DIDN'T, I WOULD HAVE EVERYTHING DONE TO PRUN YOURSELF THAT YOU LOVE LIVING WITH FRIENDSHIP... BUT IN THIS CASE IT WAS NO MATTER. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE WHY I HAVE NO PROBLEMS THAT YOU GO WITH YOU ON THE WORLD TOUR?...

Chapter 8 - ... means a lot

He had pressed her tightly against him, his lips moving against hers. This wasn't real, it was only in her roles as Doctor and Clara. Even if there were no cameras here, no other people...

„Oh, my Clara“, he moved away slightly, „I love you, you have no idea how much I adore you“, his hand sank under her shirt and ran over her smooth skin so that she held her breath. She wanted to give herself completely to it, forget everything else.

„Doctor, I want you... I've always wanted this you, nobody else.“

His kisses grew, soon after he started sucking on her neck, licking his tongue several times. She sighed... Then suddenly jumped up when cold water hit her.

Peter laughed. He laughed like he hadn't in a long time and Jenna realized that she hadn't been awake yet. That stupid idiot! She almost had the hottest dream with the Doctor and yet Peter at the same time and then he just had to wake her up.

She angrily threw a pillow at him.

„Careful, I had no idea that you could be so grumpy after waking up“, he threw the pillow away, went to the bed, and then pressed her on the bed by her wrists.

„Cheeky girl“, he grinned, „do you dream of me or the Doctor?“

She looked at him in confusion. What was wrong with him? He had just lost his wife and now he looked like he didn't care. It wasn't the Peter she had fallen in love with back then.

„It's not you“, she said, „Peter, what's going on that you're acting so strange?“

Suddenly he let go of her and fell next to her.  
„I don't know if I will be able to go through it all again if I know what you have to put up with when it comes out to the public.“

She clasped her hand with his. Just a gesture of comfort, not love.  
„I love you, Peter“, she admitted softly, „but I'll wait how long you need...“  
„Even if I get older and grayer and wrinkled?“

She bent over him and smiled.  
„I raved for you when I saw you for the first time, I was so glad that you offered me the friendship... And I fell in love with you when you hugged me for the first time and when I know one thing, that I will never stop, even if you are dust and I am lonely and alone in my rocking chair.“

Peter sighed. Time could run away, her feelings didn't.


	9. Chapter 9 - What's Next?

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH THESE WORDS, OR? YOU ARE FREE, DON'T HAVE TO BE LONELY AND ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AS A WIDOWER. OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER EXCHANGE THE TIME THAT WE WANTED, BUT IF I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LIVING YOUR REMAINING LIFE LONELY... PETER, I KNOW YOU AND THEY KNOW YOU EVEN MORE...

Chapter 9 - What's Next?

A week had passed since Jenna's confession. They hadn't spoken about it since, and it didn't look like they wanted it. Of course, it was still in the air and both of them were more than aware of their feelings, but at the same time there was the feeling that they shouldn't rush anything.

Most would not understand it. It would mean that she could look for a younger one. With him that firstly he was too old and secondly that he would cheat on his wife even if she had died.

He wanted nothing more than not being alone for the rest of his years. He was always surrounded by other people, except when it took him a few hours and even then there was always someone around. That was one of the reasons why he ended up staying with Jenna all the time.

„That was Steven“, said Jenna, „he asked if we could meet... there is something he wants to show us.“

He looked up. Something was wrong, not at all. He didn't ask if it was important just when they should meet.

„Tomorrow at half past four if it's okay?“  
„It's not like we're going to do anything.“

She wrote that they will be at the meeting point tomorrow. They both hoped it wasn't bad, of course, but Steven wouldn't just call her and he didn't sound so happy on the phone. So there had to be something. The only question was what.

To cheer her up, she asked him if he wanted to eat something... But he said no, he wasn't hungry. Even so, he suddenly looked quite pale and she remembered that he hadn't really eaten much the past few days (and twice a week away from home).

Was he doing something she didn't know? Of course he wouldn't cheat on her, as he had said, even if it wasn't true in the end: „I wanted to get a divorce.“

Not every marriage is as perfect as it appears on the outside, and possibly it wasn't. But who could say something about it after all that had happened... Except for all the rumors that would go along with it.

„Peter, I am aware that you are grieving, but you have none of it when you are hungry.“  
„Good, good... Then make a salad or soup from me, just nothing difficult.“

She just rolled her eyes, but did him the favor. There was (hopefully) enough time to find out what was going on.

The next morning, he didn't look as excited about the meeting he said yesterday that it must have had something to do with the last episode of the ninth series.

And he seemed to have been right. When they entered the restaurant, the only thing they could tell from Steven's stance was that something was wrong.


	10. CHAPTER 10 - The Beginning of Something

DON'T BE SORRY BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE YOU SUDDENLY, MY LOVE, I KNOW YES YOU WILL GO WELL. JENNA IS DETERMINELY THE ONLY PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU (EXCEPT ME NATURALLY) AND I AM VERY SURE THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY. PETER, DO NOT MORN TOO LONG FOR ME, IT'S JUST WASTEED TIME. TELL YOUR LOVE HOW YOU FEEL... BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

LIVE WELL, MY LOVE 

CHAPTER 10 - The Beginning of Something ...

Peter had finished reading his wife's farewell letter and yet he felt he was doing everything wrong. He fell in love with another woman while the woman he had been with for so long had not told him the truth.

He no longer had anyone. There were no children in his life, there would never be grandchildren and he couldn't tell how much he was suffering from the fact. And Jenna... Why was she still spending time with him?

It was quiet when she took his hand in his. It was a simple gesture that didn't reveal anything.

„Good that you could come“, Steven greeted them, returning the greeting and then taking a seat. Steven turned the laptop he had with him to them.  
„I'm sure you have nothing to do with it, Peter?“

His eyes stayed on the screen while Jenna checked something on her smartphone.  
„I didn't find anything on Google through the website shown that could help us.“

Peter's hands started to tremble. He jumped up and ran outside, ignoring the other's looks. There he stopped at the next wall of the house, supported himself on it with his hand, and then sank down. At the moment it was only on the Internet, but how long would it take for the newspapers to find out?

„Come here“, someone said and he let himself be hugged. On the one hand he wanted to be alone, on the other hand he was happy to know her in his life.

„It's good, everything is good“, she said softly, „don't worry, I'm sure I won't leave you.“

He looked up, his blue eyes empty and yet so full of fear, sadness. Then he pressed against her again.

„Don't go, don't go, don't go...“, over and over again he said these words as if he had been repeated. But when he looked back at her, he couldn't help but pull her and kiss her again.

It was only because he needed comfort now. And even if she had already confessed her feelings to him, she couldn't let him get too much going on now.

It was better to do everything in peace.

„Forgive me, I had no idea what I'm doing here“, he was embarrassed because he kissed her again, although both decided to take it very slowly and yet it had happened again.

It was all so messed up, not fair and so lost. And Peter? It was a difficult time for him.

************

This ends the first section.

It has already been announced that something has happened that has pulled Peter down. What it will be exactly and how it will go on with Peter and Jenna... All in the next section.


	11. Chapter 11 - A strange feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the second section, the following ten chapters.
> 
> ~While Peter and Jenna are spending some time apart, we are gradually learning something from the 'interview' that Peter (supposedly) gave. 
> 
> But little by little it becomes clear that something is completely wrong.~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out that the 'interview' here is completely made up and fortunately has nothing to do with reality.

The second section - the interview

~That he is one of the most famous actors should be known to everyone and today he has agreed to be available for an interview despite the great stress during filming.~

Chapter 11 - A strange feeling

The interview, which he had only briefly scanned, was still floating through his head. It had been distributed on the Internet and it would not be a problem for him to quickly check what exactly was in it, but he also knew that it would pull him down quite a bit.

Not exactly something he was crazy about.

With a sigh he got up and decided to make tea. He was alone at the time when Jenna went to see her parents over the weekend. Of course, he wondered where they were in their relationship. They were no longer normal friends, but they weren't a couple... Not yet.

It was all pretty complicated when you saw it that way. In addition, they were active in a very popular series that was broadcast worldwide. Even today, this was not a matter of course.

And what would the reaction be if it became public? Most would turn away in disgust, a few would be happy and then there would be those who didn't care.

Peter sighed again when the tea was ready. Somehow he felt pretty alone. Sure, he could hardly have forbidden her to drive away, but now that he's really alone for the first time in his life, he sensed that it wasn't for him and that he always brought someone around so that he wouldn't go crazy. 

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

„So what's going on?“, Keith Coleman sat across from his daughter when she stared at the floor as if lost. They were in the living room and it could actually be a very good atmosphere if there wasn't something hanging in the air.

„It's about Peter.“  
„What did he do to you!?“  
„Nothing, you know him, Dad. It's just... I love him, I'm in love with him and I don't know what to do.“

Her father was not very enthusiastic about it. After all, Peter was about the same age as he and he didn't want his daughter to become the mockery of the world.

„You realize he's married?“  
„Was... His wife died when we had the last day of the world tour. However, she didn't tell him about it.“

Keith nodded, which of course makes it more complicated. Jenna knew that she couldn't just publicly express her feelings for her co-partner. If there really was no other way, they would keep their relationship secret, if one really developed, and at some point questions would arise as to why someone like Jenna Coleman stayed single forever.

„So you're here because you have to sort your head, right?“  
„Somehow. Can you blame me, Dad?“

He sighed and got up to make tea for both of them. On the one hand because both of them could use it and on the other hand because he wanted to delay his answer, which he had to give either way.

In any case, she wouldn't like it.


	12. Chapter 12 - Resist Curiosity

~Peter told us how much he loves to make Doctor Who, who knows him and that should be a matter of course, who knows that it was his biggest dream.

„That's why I became an actor“, he laughed, although it was guaranteed to be one of the questions he had probably heard a lot.~

Chapter 12 - Resist Curiosity

It was a restless night, for both of them, because the other did not get out of their heads. Good if Peter had got at least a few minutes of sleep, but instead he was awake and didn't really know what to do. He missed her so much that it tore inside and he felt like he was burned. Jenna would return to the funeral, but as soon as it was over she would be gone again.

It was almost unbearable and if he could gather more courage he would immediately go and drive to her, but he also knew that she would slam the door in front of him...

Peter thought about talking to Elaine about a year ago...

„If I were suddenly gone, would you marry again, Peter?“

He had looked up in surprise.  
„I... I don't know, but I don't think so. It would be like betraying you.“

His wife had only nodded, but the topic still seemed to go through her mind.  
„Would you Jenna...“   
„Elaine!“, He was loud, „how do you figure that out?“

Aside from feeling feelings for the much younger woman, it was a really crazy question. He would never, under any circumstances, cheat no matter how hard it was for him.

„It's just a consideration, Peter. But when I'm no longer there, I don't want you to be alone.“  
„Are you not well? Do you need something?“

His wife shook her head and really didn't talk about it anymore.

He hadn't thought of it since then, just banished it from his memories, but now he was aware of everything. His wife wanted him to be not alone, but how should he do it! Stand in front of the microphones...

„Yes, I hereby confirm that my wife passed away on the last day of the world tour and gave me permission to enter into a relationship with my Doctor Who co-partner...“

That would make people understand, for sure.

Peter just didn't know what to do. He was married for a long time, everything was fine and then he met Jenna and everything was thrown over the top.

How should he cope with all of this?

He threw himself back on the bed and pulled the covers over his head, unwilling to get up. He wanted to sink into a deep sleep and never wake up again. And best of all, that he had no dreams, that they would involuntarily deal with the fact that it was about them.

It didn't matter what he did, his heart beat too fast if he just thought of her name. It then seemed to want to take a drill so it could get out of its body and to her.

Peter remembered something, leaned over and opened the chest of drawers to get something out. It was a drawing he had made some time ago.

A drawing of the Doctor, he and Clara, standing in front of the TARDIS and kissing. How many times had he thought about asking to write a kiss in, even if it was just a "mistake", but he kept rejecting this idea, thinking about how the fans would react.


	13. Chapter 13 - A Hard Insight

~Peter smiled when he told us about his co-partner, there seemed to be something that made him happy. Of course he also emphasized that he is married, but we all have our ideas, don't we and who could resist Jenna Coleman?~

Chapter 13 - A Hard Insight

Jenna had done everything not to think about him, but how would it be if she was asked about it all the time. Like just where she was shopping. Of course she was recognized and it didn't bother her, but when she asked not to speak, it had nothing to do with selfishness, she just didn't want to be asked all the time, although Clara really is leaving the Doctor this time.

Her thoughts flicked back when she first announced she was leaving Doctor Who. She immediately noticed Peter's look, he really looked as if she had at the same time canceled his friendship. He was the best friend she ever had ... and of course out of reach for her.

At first Jenna, of course, thought it was just a crush. Many did. Why not, Peter looked damn good, his age didn't matter and he really shouldn't read a lot of the comments about him.

Later, when she was back at her parents' house, Mom Karen greeted her with a worried look. She was holding something and if Jenna saw it correctly, it was photos.

„They are pictures from 2014“, just a soft whisper, „and they are very clear.“  
„We only kissed each other as a greeting, as you do between friends.“

She was given one of the photos and someone had edited it so that it looked as if she and Peter had been kissing secretly in a corner. Sure, she had sometimes imagined what it would be like to kiss him (by now she knew what it felt like) and although she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again, she did nothing to make it happen allow. The distance was a good thing, she kept saying to herself.

„So nothing really happened between you then?“  
„Mom, how can you suspect something like that? Do you believe the press or any Photoshop images more than your own daughter?“

Jenna didn't wait for an answer, but went to her children's room, which her parents never changed. At least that's what she thought, but when she saw that a cardboard model of the TARDIS was standing on the wall, she still had to smile a little.

It wasn't there when she was last here (well, at least it wasn't "stolen" from the set.)

„I thought you would be happy to have something from Doctor Who here too“, she heard her father's voice behind her, „I thought about putting up a cardboard figure of the Doctor first, but that wouldn't have been a good idea.“

She could only nod. It really would not be. Her father finally left her alone and Jenna sat on the bed. It was so unfamiliar to her. The whole time she expected Peter to open the door and asked if she wanted anything. He had always been very concerned about other things, but now that she was thinking about it, he'd been asking her about her wellbeing while she was with Doctor Who.

Slowly it dawned on her and she wasn't sure if she liked it.


	14. Chapter 14 - Live with Pain

~He had a smile on his face all the time and we thought he was thinking his wife. It was known how well the marriage worked between them. We asked him to tell a little about domestic life, but the more it did, the more certain we were that he wasn't talking about his marriage. Just his words "I'm not sure if I can continue to cope with these feelings" made us stop. What did Peter Capaldi keep secret?~

Chapter 14 - Live with Pain

She found not sleep that night because her hands were constantly groping for him, but of course the other side of the bed was empty. He wouldn't suddenly show up here.

Tears ran down her cheeks, but she did nothing to hold her back. They didn't want to stop, no matter how hard she tried. It just hurt too much.

Only a few hours ago she realized that Peter had loved her from the beginning. When she looked at the various, unprocessed, photos on the Internet, she noticed it for the first time. He always looked at her with a warm look and when she talked to a reporter, his look became painful and he looked like he was always trying to pull her away.

Peter Capaldi, the model husband, where everyone thought his world was okay, fell in love with his much younger co-partner... And if it had become known at the time, he would not have survived. Physically, of course, but not soul-conscious. He would have perished and withdrawn from the world.

What a stupid idea that Peter Capaldi had suddenly disappeared from the public eye.

If only there was one way to undo everything. She would go back to her old self and ask her not to take on the role of Clara Oswald (and a few "other" characters), even if it meant that she would never get to know Peter.

Who was she kidding? He was her best friend, her partner in crime, she only stayed a year longer because he was there... And actually she wanted to leave the series with Matt Smith's departure... And then she met Peter Capaldi, the man, where even friends instructed her to be careful because he had a pretty big mouth. (She later found out that these friends had only seen a certain series.)

Jenna had looked a little confused, but had given nothing further. She would see for herself what is right and what is wrong.

Jenna decided that staying in bed all day and blowing the tribulation room would not help her much. She would distract herself from her thoughts, maybe go out a little, have fun...

...the next morning she woke up in a strange apartment. Immediately she was sitting straight in bed, looking around when the door opened and a man about her age came in. She immediately pulled the blanket over her body, but he just smiled.

„Good morning and no fear, there was nothing between us, I'm A-Sexual.“

Jenna just looked at him and remembered yesterday evening again.  
„Oh, I suspected that... Well...“  
„Wouldn't have gone well anyway, because you kept mentioning the name Peter in your sleep. Is he your friend?“

He didn't seem to know Doctor Who, which she was very happy about at the moment.


	15. Chapter 15 - I Miss You

~We had to wait a while for Peter to notice us again, but it was nice to see that he was also thinking about his wife. At least, that's how we assumed it, who wouldn't. However, when we brought him back, he smiled, but it wasn't the kind of smile you'd expect. No, it was a cold grin.~

Chapter 15 - I Miss You

„Would you like something for breakfast?“ He asked, but she just shook her head and said it would be better if she went on the way. He agreed, of course, and headed for the door, of course after she got dressed. They both made sure that nobody was around to see them. Who knows what rumors would emerge in world history.

„Nobody seems to be around“, he said, „but be careful, 'Kay. So, I wish you a nice day, Jenna.“

With these words, he closed the door and it remained a little confused. Then he recognized her after all... and didn't ask for an autograph? Well, they certainly wouldn't ring his doorbell now and ask him about it.

Instead, another bell interrupted her and when she opened the door, she wanted to slam it shut immediately.

He couldn't be here, it was absolutely impossible.  
„Can I come in?“, He asked a little embarrassed and Jenna could only nod slightly, but didn't step aside to let him pass.  
„Unfortunately I can't go through you“, he tried to joke, but got serious when she didn't respond.

„My house is under siege and since there is nobody here, I think that this address is not known here or it has been found out so far.“

She believed him and there are guaranteed to be pictures of it on the Internet. So now she let him over and he smiled gratefully at her.

„Of course I won't stay long“, he promised, „as soon as the opportunity arises, I'll look for a hotel.“

„So someone recognizes you there, Peter? You can stay, my parents can't talk us into it.“  
„I'm your father's age, Jenna, don't you think it could be a little weird?“  
„You shouldn't worry about that either. What is it about the funeral?“

He sighed and ran a hand through his thick hair before declaring that he would pull it through when the time came.

„It will take place in the afternoon, the only problem will be getting there without being recognized.“

„Put on a mask and put on a wig, then nobody will recognize you so quickly.“

It wasn't a bad idea, actually, but he also asked her what she would do, after all, she wasn't that unknown anymore.

„Coloured contact lenses, in a slightly lighter shade of brown and the hair a little shorter, maybe I'll dye them purple.“

They looked at each other briefly before both burst out laughing, since the idea alone seemed ridiculous.

„Jenna“, her father's voice interrupted her, „what did he do here?“  
„Peter will stay here for the time being, Dad.“  
„I won't allow that. He wasn't even able to take care of his sick wife.“

Peter wanted to reply that it had been of no avail, since until recently he had not known it himself, because he had not been told it. However, it was also clear to him that at that moment there was no explanation.


	16. Chapter 16 - Cohesion

~Of course, we can't force him to tell something that doesn't concern anyone, but only his attitude showed that he had always played something for everyone in recent years. Although we had to congratulate him on one, he could hide it really well.~

Chapter 16 - Cohesion

„If Peter can't stay here, I'll go as well.“  
„You can't really mean that“, her father was quite startled by her words, „what would it bring you to be with him?“  
„That maybe nobody could say I was just after his money.“

It wasn't a joke, even if it might look like one. Besides, it was just a stupid prejudice that a woman was always after the man's money (but on the other hand, there were still those who demanded that the man pays for everything, really everything... what a stupid performance.)

„Jenna“, Peter took her hand in his, „I can understand your father, after all, the age difference between us is not exactly small.“  
„And if it were around 1972 like the Doctor and Clara, I don't care. I also know by now that you must have been in love with me all these years.“

He wanted to deny it, but decided against it. She was right about her knowledge, but he hadn't done anything either... Only because of a fake interview people believed it now. That's why it was here because it's the only place that came to mind.

Jenna had given him permission to come here only in an emergency, but from people who will probably still be camping in front of his house you could really call it an emergency.

„I just don't want anything to happen to her.“  
„I don't want that either, Mr. Coleman. It's true, I've loved Jenna since I first saw her in the café, but as you can see, I've never done anything to really get closer to her.“

He took out his wife's farewell letter.  
„Read it, please.“

Keith did, then looked back at Peter.  
„The letter is really real?“  
„Yes.“  
„Why my daughter? You could look for someone your age again, someone who would not be alone for many years if you died one day.“

„Elaine and I were only together for about 30 years, that sounds like a lot, but it's not. And yes, I love Jenna, more than I should allow, but you can't choose feelings, Keith.“

Jenna took his hand and squeezed it firmly.  
„You saw him take care of me, Dad. Do you really think Peter would take advantage of me? He could have done it from the start and yet he held back. And that's one of the reasons why I love him so much.“

Keith sighed and finally surrendered, which was probably because he didn't want to see his daughter just on the screen in the future.

„Since I can bet that Peter would sneak up to you anyway, he can sleep with you.“


	17. Chapter 17 - Anxious Hours

~ We now know that Peter had an affair with his co-partner. He didn't tell that directly, but only by his behavior you could tell that it had to be that way. Of course we asked how he felt about Miss Coleman and he replied that she was only a good friend, a colleague, but nothing more ~

Chapter 17 - Anxious Hours

„So I have to cook for one more person now“, groaned Jenna's mother, but meant it rather as a joke. Of course, she would hardly let him go hungry.

„Mum, please don't spoil him too much.“  
„Well, there is a possibility that he could one day become our son - in - law, so I'm preparing to be able to greet him in the family.“

Peter and Jenna really blushed when they thought about it. There were only two reasons against this for the time being: First, they weren't really a couple and second, Peter had only recently become a widower and he wasn't exactly the person who immediately re-established a relationship, even if Elaine gave them permission to do so had given. But Peter wasn't like many others.

„We want to take it easy“, Peter said quietly, still feeling guilty about trying to seduce her into sex not so long ago.

Despite everything, Peter felt comfortable. He hadn't felt so balanced for a long time. The past few years have been quite stressful for him, and the knowledge of not knowing that his wife would die was still taking him away.

„Why are you sitting out here?“, Jenna came up to him.  
„Wanted to think about something“, he admitted, „do you think you people will believe that all of this in the interview is true?“

Jenna reached for his hand and pulled him up. Unlike the Doctor, he greeted each hug from the start and put his hands on her back as she rocked him gently back and forth.

She loved him so much that it hurt and that he had always held on to the fact that there was no kiss between the Doctor and Clara... She could never understand why he thought everyone would turn away in disgust and the BBC make any idiotic accusations.

„Have your parents already gone to sleep your parents?“  
„Always at this time.“

Peter pulled her down and kissed her briefly, just a breath of his lips that touched hers.

„I love you for so long and I will always love you no matter what will happen.“

It sounded like a farewell, but it wasn't going to be... she hoped. Jenna grabbed him tightly by the collar and kissed him so hard that his eyes widened in alarm, but then surrendered to her.

He had always believed he had found the woman he had fallen in love with many years ago... Now he was aware that he had been wrong all the time.

„I love you too, Peter and we'll get through this together, I promise you.“

She pulled him with her and he guessed what was coming.


End file.
